On heart makeovers and handsome fellas and falling in the “crik”

Hi and welcome to the second part of my  Calamity Jane themed post. If you haven’t read part one just scroll on down or click here.

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Now if that cabin makeover in Part One doesn’t do it for you then maybe a good heart makeover will. All the best movies have them and there are a couple going on here of course.

We have Katie – the pretty one in this movie that all the fellas are after but she’s so sweet and lovely about it you don’t want to kill her. Pretty or not she’s pretending to be someone she isn’t and scared to death that the real Katie won’t be enough. Sound familiar? But then Calamity being the good egg that she is tells her “ just do it your way” and Katie does her thing her way and brings the house down.

IMG_0558 My sister’s a good egg too. Just a week or so ago she said the same thing to me – so here I am telling you my story, writing my blog my way, following my heart.

Then there’s Calamity herself – she’s her own unique blend of gorgeous and gritty, a gun toting, fiery tom boy, hilarious, brave, fun and a total mess.

IMG_0554Her emotions get the better of her every time and she’s secretly in love with a man who can’t see past the grit to the girl. When Katie comes along in all her womanly loveliness, Calamity is reminded of the woman that just might be hidden underneath her mannish clothes and the rough talking, hard riding exterior. The challenge then is how to be truly herself – how to let the girl come out – not by being someone she isn’t – but by finding her own balance of feminine and feisty, girl and grit. And there it is – the struggle of finding our own rhythm, of following our own dream without falling foul of other peoples expectations and without cracking under the pressure we put on ourselves to be perfect or the pressure just to do it the way everyones else does. And of course as it goes when your trying to find your feet and find what fits for you – you mess it up and make mistakes and end up face first in the “crik”. Story of my life

IMG_0601Your picking yourself up and wiping the mud off your face and feeling stupid for even trying – – – and there’s always an audience!!  I can’t ever manage to make a fool of myself in the privacy of my own home. But theres nothing else for it but to keep going. Despite the set backs and self doubts you know your on the right path and that you somehow feel more alive doing what your doing and there’s no way you want to go back to playing it safe..

“So you fall down and skin your knees now and then, get thrown for a loop by your own self doubts and collapse in a screaming heap occasionally – well your in good company, – we all do it – that doesn’t count us out – – – -that just means we are alive and having a go”

Heart transformations – Gods in the business of them. He takes the best of us and the worst of us and does more with this mixture than we would ever dream for ourselves. He know’s what we can become when we give ourselves a chance, swallow our pride and do it afraid. He completely gets us, He’s in the before shot and the after shot and right beside us for the bit in between.

So now to those handsome fellas – well I got me a couple of those around here. One I married 12 years ago and if truth be told, in keeping with the Calamity Jane theme, there’s been times I’ve wanted to pull out a gun. To quote myself “he’s unique, he’s a challenge and he is in every way the one”. While I was looking around for a tall smart looking solder in a blue uniform with shiny brass buttons – a pastor or preacher at least – I almost didn’t see the wild and woolly cowboy that sidled up beside me not really wanting to be tamed but wanting a chance at love and life and a family all the same – just like the rest of us.

Warhol Us

Wedding Day

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Most days.

Who knew the answer to my prayer would just ride up on his motorcycle one day and wander into the church where I had been cooling my heels for longer than I would have liked and I almost missed him cause he wasn’t in the package I thought he would be. That rough and ready cowboy turned out to be a gentleman, a good egg (another one) and just right for me. Not perfect, just  trying to get it right like all of us and a gift I will never stop being grateful for. My chance at life and love and family too. Now we have a handsome little fella running around – just turned 11 the very image of his Dad – all boy itching for adventure, wanting to buck the system even now but with a softness of heart that will take him a long way. We have a beautiful girl as well – a Katie – just turned 8 – who sings and twirls and giggles and dreams her way through life. She is as sweet and as kind as they come with just the right amount of feistiness that a girl needs these days.

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IMG_2313P1010727 The bank balance is still up and down, some day’s despite my best efforts the house still looks like looters have been through and most of the time we feel like we are just muddling through it all.  But we look at these children, at what God has blessed us with, at these amazing little people running around our house and theirs no doubt –  we feel like the luckiest two people in the world.

IMG_0867Thanks so much for reading. I would love to hear some of your story so please feel free to leave me a comment.

My next post – the beauty of a quick fix.

You can read my latest Women Connect posts Dwell and In All Things here.   A snippet from each:

Dwell – – – See our wayward thoughts tell giant tales of woe, they exaggerate and embellish and down right lie. They draw us in and they never let the truth get in the way of a good story. They are cruel and tortuous, they don’t relent or cut you a break and the odds always end up stacked against you and – – – we can’t see God from there  Read More

In All Things – – – Being content and at peace and satisfied whatever the circumstance ? It’s not our natural tendency is it? Not when what IS doesn’t line up with what we think it should be or what we expect it to be. I hate to say it but in my time I’ve done my fair share (and then some) of whinging and complaining and grumbling to God and anyone else who’d listen. Trust me it’s a good way to make yourself completely miserable. It’s a good way to miss the hand of God at work in your life and it’s not somewhere you want to stay long but God meets you even when your cranky at Him. Read More

Thanks for reading

Tracey xx

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