– – – thoughts on heading into the new year

 I usually revel in the sense of freshness the new year brings – the “out with the old and in with the new” feeling that the first of January stirs up just with the tick of the clock – so loaded, so laden – – – and the enthusiasm of some people – some are out of the gates and racing as if a starters pistol has gone off – the spark of the fireworks still shining in their eyes – plans and goals and strategies – I love that zest for life, I’m inspired by it and I learn from it but – – I just can’t do it, not this year, not yet anyway.

This year I’m a slow starter – maybe its because 2014 was a good year for me – scary at times, challenging and busy and there were plenty of tears – some from laughing, some from crying – but all in all a great year and that’s not something I have always been able to say. Some years I couldn’t get rid of fast enough, no goodbyes necessary, I sprinted into the new year with a “thank God thats over” my only farewell, but this last year was a beauty and I just wasn’t in a hurry to see it end. December seemed to come round so fast and right or wrong I just wanted to hold on to it a little longer – to think on it a bit and let it settle – to really be thankful for it – it seemed wasteful not too.

So here I find myself in a little lull somewhere in between 2014 ending but before I’m ready to let 2015 kick in – cooling my heels, staring out my kitchen window again,  getting my bearings, thinking on what the year just gone might tell me about the year to come, thinking on this beautiful family God has given me, tossing my fears and hopes for the new year back and forward and asking God to be near me. A bit hesitant about it if truth really be told – – –

But what I’ve come to in my pondering is this – what was great and real and lovely about 2014 was God with me, God changing me, God taking my nothingness and somehow, as only He can, making it something,  “ – – – like a miracle, like lukewarm water turning merlot red right there in the cup”  – Emily P. Freeman – “A Million Little Ways”. God helping me do life and family with eternal things in mind and helping me appreciate what a gift it all is.

 And while the year ends  – God with me doesn’t end and His walking with me and changing me doesn’t end – the good bit, in fact the totally amazing bit -God with us  – doesn’t end. His mercies are new, His loving kindness persists and His faithfulness endures beyond what time and days can measure.

So my lull has led me to this

“I bless the holy name of God with all my heart. Yes, I will bless the Lord and not forget the glorious things He does for me. He forgives all my sins. He heals me. He ransoms me from hell. He surrounds me with loving-kindness and tender mercies. He fills my life with good things! My youth is renewed like the eagle’s!”  Psalm 103: 1-5 The Living Bible

and this

“Being confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ” Philippians 1:6 NKJV

It feels like a prayer, a hearts desire, a path to walk on, thankfulness for the year just passed and fresh hope for the new all rolled into one.  It’s God with me, its God loving me and its the place I’m starting  from in 2015.

And just in case you wondering why I have so much time to waft around and stare out my kitchen window – its because this is directly below it.

I do a lot of this and I get this space – my thinkin space – all to myself.

So did you start your new year a stroll or a gallop?

Would love to hear.

A few songs that have been singing to me – you might enjoy.

 Rend Collective My Lighthouse

  Ellie Goulding How Long Will I Love You

Kodaline High Hopes

 Taylor Henderson Borrow My Heart

God bless

Lv Tracey xx